The one who stands by you when you are nothing

I wanted to write this one for a long time to convey how much I appreciated my friend for being with me more than one and half decades back. But it is today that I couldn’t resist as she was reminded by one of my colleague.

When I and my colleague sat together to eat, when she opened her box, it was a curd rice with mango pickle dropped on the top of it :-). looked yummy and at the same time I was reminded of this special friend of mine Sana who always got curd rice like this and we ate together like this almost everyday for two years.

It was my first day at 6th grade when I first met her, and I had moved in to that school and town newly.With in few days we became very close friends. we ate together, played together, studies together and walked together back home, while we played on railway tracks and we held each others hands and walked on railway tracks. Most beautiful moments of my life:-).

While we lived out happy friendship like this, one fine day, 5th grade teacher sent for me while I was in the class, and my teacher told me to go see her. I went out to see 5th grade teacher and she asked me if I would like to take up the role of
Rani Chennamma in an event in the town where all the schools represented for republic day. I said yes and she told me to bring some stuffs like ” Green Saree, which is believed to be the color Rani Chennama always wore, gold paper to make a crown and few more things for rehearsals. I went back to class room and I saw all the kids in the class kind of pounded on me asking me why was I sent for? As soon as I told the reason, there was a huge roar in the class room. Only then I realized that it was a very prestigious to have that role and there are two other girls who have been wanting to do that who of course are in the school for more than I do. Of these two girls, first one is “Sapna” who is extremely pretty, but not so good at studies and she has been representing school for that role for last two years and all the guys in the class wants her to represent the school again this year. I literally heard guys shouting like that. Second one is “Sowmya” who is sweet looking, girl’s leader and is very good at studies. Then comes the third one, who is me. However since 5th grade teacher already had chosen me I thought I will be the one and my close friend ” sana” also supported me. Because of the havoc that guys created my class teacher told us let us have an election and who ever gets most votes will go. Finally it was election time in 10 mins.

Teacher first said, Whoever wish to vote for Sapna, raise your hands.

Whole of boys section raised hands and she scored 44 votes. However I should have realized then and there that I had lost the battle, but I did not apply my good mathematics in tho this calculation. Of course even if I did, I didn’t have much choice than listen to whole stuff.

Teacher then said whoever wish to vote for Sowmya raise your hands, most of girl’s section raised their hands and she scored 20 votes.

Then teacher said, whoever wish to vote for meethi, raise your hands.

I was sitting in the bench and sana standing behind me with her two hands on shoulder. Soon after Teacher told my name, Sana raised her left hand and screamed, Meeti, and we turned around to see how many people voted for me.

Guess! it was 1 = One.

Needless to say, I did not represent the school.

Then came a next year. In this one year, I had become a national athlete and went one to represent state for under 14 and secured second place in 400mts running in nationals. Local news papers printed my pictures and I got a little fame.

So in the next year, we had one week med term break, when teacher gave us the assignment. She told us to write an essay on topic ” My ideal student”.

When we returned from break, in the first class, teacher told one by one to read their essays, she made at least ten people read it and all ten until then had written about me. Needless to say Sana also wrote about me.

However, the one thing that I cherished even then was, Sana wrote about me and, I realized the importance of people , Of those people who are by you when you are nothing at that very tender age.

Now almost two decades later, I and Sana are still friends, with whom we met really after almost two decades, It dint even take us 20 minutes to renew our old attachment. When I was in India last year we met, roamed together and poured our hearts to each other.

She is smart, intelligent and dashing architect now who runs her own firm at this young age. and now she is all set to hit new milestone of her life. She is expecting to be mom in few months.

I wish her all the best and we will always remain so best with each other all our lives.
- Another incident: in the same 7thgrade, teacher told us to find out names of Wright brothers who invented airplane. It was a time when there was no internet and with limited resource I had failed to find out. Sana and only Sana new both names and she only told me about their names ” Orville Wright and Wilbur Wright.

What we Notice

August 15th 2008. We went to India festival in the Boston Downtown. Was with few family members and friends.After the ceremony, the entire crowd started walking towards the exit. In that crowd,
I still cannot forget seeing a couple. A pregnant woman in white salwar and tangled her fingers with her husband, while she walks limping. I didn’t even see their face. I don’t know who they are, They don’t even know that I saw them. I just saw them from behind. in the dusk of evening two years back. its still so clear on my mind. When I think of marriage, husband wife, Its this picture of these couple that comes to my mind. Its so strange as to how people, certain incidents and certain gestures leave their ever lasting impression on us compelling us to remember them in that particular fashion.

It was so funny as to how I left some of my funny impressions on others. I went back to India after 5 years and I had hardly talked to some of my cousins.
They remembered very funny things about me, which I myself had forgotten.

One of them said, ‘ Hey remember? while you came on your two wheeler, an old man saw you coming from far away and he went inside the house and once you passed his house, he came out, Do you still drive like that?
Another one said, reminding me of my repulsion towards sweet dishes, ‘ Do you still eat only one grain of sweet dish’? Only then I remembered, yeah I used to make fuss on eating sweet dishes and when ever my mom forced me to have it saying its an offer ( making an emotional and existential blackmail) I ate only one grain.
And another one reminded me, How I wore ” nau wari saree, when Swamiji came in to hour house for pooja,
I was surprised, as to how they remembered me .

While I explained, these incidents some of my colleagues and friends, here is what they came up with.

MY colleague wanted to be a movie director when he was young, so he left a job and went in search of a direction job, where he struggled. while he met a lady, who he found to be dynamic, smart and a go getter. A decade later he found her on a TV talk show to realize his thinking to be absolutely true as he found out that she became completely paralyzed and yet she managed to become a noticeable personality to set an example as to how to fight with odds in life.
When ever there is something unusual, good, bad, evil, funny, weird, dull, brave, strange and soo on, it has never gone unnoticed.

At this moment, I surely would wan to say something that I noticed, about a friend from college whom I got in touch with after almost a decade,
who has been unbelievably supportive and gentle to me. I am glad to have a friend who trusted me unconditionally and never looked down on me in my most difficult times.

Story of a rotten fruit of south east Asia.

That’s right we are gonna talk about Pakistan right now. The common sense of any individual says, if there is any rotten fruit in the basket it needs to be thrown away, else it poses the danger of spoiling other fruits in the basket  too.

I  Avoided myself from touching this topic for a long time, However,   after having heard Mr Musharraf, former dictator of Pakistan while   he addressed  audience at Franklin Institute Philadelphia on Jan 19th I changed my mind.

First of all, India does not fall in the category of Afghanistan and Pakistan as he  mentioned while he started his speech. We sort of  understand his psyche  in saying so, which of course is presenting his country along with India, whom the world  recognizes as a rising elephant, as an emerging high tech country, as a country of growing economy,  unlike as his, which  of course is known for  terrorism with in,  terrorism across the border,  terrorism across the oceans. and of course as a safe harbor for inland and foreign terrorists. This fact no longer has remained a brainier.

Well Mr dictator doesn’t  deny it  either.  He says world cannot just blame Pakistani terrorist organizations like, LET, Al-quida, and lot of al’s and ul’s, which are committing mass murders in Kashmir instead he calls upon world leaders   to resolve  Kashmir issue. Kashmir issue ?  Well, I will come back to this later. According to  former illegitimate leader of PAK, it is absolutely legitimate to occupy the state of J&K of India illegitimately , its absolutely legitimate to  spread terrorism across the border in India, unless third party intervenes and resolve the issue to make Indian state Kashmir as a part of  completely failed state Pakistan. Pakistan which has been given to them by India sixty years back.  Well third party for him is  none other than united states of America.  After having put his feet on fire by U.S. after 9/11 he hopes  his pretension of his  help offered  for  United states in its fight against terrorism would fetch him some help gulping yet another state from India. Having gulped entire Pakistan and east Pakistan now  Bangladesh isn’t enough for Mr retired Dictator. He actually justified the existence and operation of those (Pakistani)Military trained terrorist organization like Let, A-Q etc on global television ( of course for such operations to be sustained for this long it has to have a proper military training and safe harbor and this fact hasn’t remained brainier any longer either).  USA who is in bed with Pakistan whom she wouldn’t be in bed with,  if it was not for invading Afghanistan in search of 9/11 master minds, doesn’t want to extend its cozy relationship with Pakistan anymore, for a very simple reason being, it does not want to extend the safe harbor of terrorists by few more sq miles.

India, A country who often forgets in no time and forgive even before forgiveness is asked for has  invited extended terrorism by doing so. The very fact is  being misinterpreted as  a country of no aggressive nature. Coming back to Kashmir Issue at this juncture, India is yet to recapture illegally occupied Kashmir from  State of Jammu and Kashmir by Pakistan, which is around 30,160sq miles and is yet to recapture about 2000 sq miles which  has been illegally handed over to China by Pakistan and of course is yet to recapture 14,500 sq miles which is under illegal occupation of China.  India sure has to resolve this matter, however Mr dictator is  is not only up to bringing foreign forces to make these illegal occupation legal but also  want to have the pleasure of expanding Pakistan borders beyond J&K. For him its absolutely legitimate  as he thinks its thickly populated by Muslim community. Why couldn’t it be after Kashmir  pundit’s and other native Kashmiri’s who lived in the valley with their ancestral homes and property fled to save their and their loved one’s lives and of course after its filled with  Pakistan trained terrorists, it sure can become terrorist state. Kashmir, a region that belonged  to the country of India since antiquity  is still a part of India and will be part of India forever. For India its more than just a matter of national interest like   also is a global responsibility of  of not lending yet another part of the world as  a safe harbor for Pakistani terrorists.

Dictator also mentioned, extremist groups like SIMI are sprouting in India , out of unequal treatment of minorities. India a sovereign country, Has always treated minorities to the best of their interest. India had had a  four  Muslim presidents Kalam being the latest one (Zakir Hussain second ever president of Independent India(1967-1969, Mohammad Hidayat ullah who was also chief justice  and Farukudding Ali Ahmed 1974-1977).  Bollywwod artisits both male and female,  musicians,  Indian cricket team  etc etc are the most successful stories of Indian minorities

Recently Indian painter M.F.Hussein, after being trialed for  inappropriate and indecent representation of Indian god and goddesses was released with the verdict, every citizen of India  has freedom of expression. Imagine any Hindu doing such an act in Pakistan.

These are just famous examples of how India  treat all the minorities   in India.  However this not even for a moment is defense or justification  to Mr Dictator(Former). I feel sad to know that Mr Dictator not only lacks in general knowledge but never watch movies too. Of course never read news. If leader of the country is so ill informed about world affairs, I wounder how an ordinary citizen would be there. No wonder whole country has indulged itself into extremism.

However, he refuses to talk of any Hindus in Pakistan. I wonder if any one has survived there. Either they were all killed or they were all converted in to Islam forcibly. Pakistan has forced its Hindu citizen’s leave its religion and has established  Islamisation, which also takes the support of laws of blasphemy in which minority religion get in to grave danger if they ever expressed their religious inclination and if they ever participated in religious activity. Pakistan has reported to have made Hindus wear red turbans  forcibly so as to they could be identified and  targeted easily by Taliban  militants.

Pakistan, A country where woman can get life time imprisonment for  getting raped, one can only imagine  what kind of treatment Hindus would be getting there . Nonetheless traitors(?) like Mr Khan the scientist gets released after having sold nuclear technology to Iran( I wounder if  he has sold, doesn’t it look like Pakistan on whole could be hand in glove with this affair of Mr Khan).

He himself   being  violator of Pakistan’s law and after being famous as  Musharraf “was anything but a person who respected the rule of law and democracy, violator of human rights in Pakistan …..no wonder, he has pushed the country towards destruction. He failed to understand if he fed insurgents with guns and munitions to infiltrate into India, after having failed to do the tasks, they will be used inside the land.

Pakistan and India, started together, anyone  living in this very  world  knows where India stands to day and  and where Pakistan does .

After getting rid of dictator rule and having embraced democracy hope Pakistan takes  baby step towards harmony so does its citizens and thus south  Asia gets free from the rotten piece of fruit which  is posing enormous  threat to the  peace of entire Asia and of course eventually  to the entire planet.

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Shaurya- Feeling Empowered.

New Indian surface to surface missile shaurya had a successful test launch last month in Orissa. Previously this year an underwater  submarine launched ballistic missile called ‘Sagarika‘ was tested. Shaurya is said to be surface to surface version of the same. For reasons like, India doesn’t possess home made submarine, Sagarika wasn’t  that big a milestone. However Shaurya emphasizes as an important milestone of defense research in India.

Technical details are said to be the following.

Shourya, meaning bravery or velor especially in battle field is said to have been a land version of ‘Sagarika’, however like Sagarika this does not have to be  ballistic missile and is capable of flying at low altitudes. Easy to maintain, transport and store for longer shelf life this missile is capable of carrying one tonne of nuclear or conventional war heads and even at low altitudes it is capable of attaining speed of mach6. The range of this missile with one tonne payload is 600 to 700 KM.  The high maneuverability missile could also be fired from under ground and  makes it  stealth fire capable  making it hide from conventional satellite imaging and less susceptible to anti missile systems. This under ground and air booster missile has a maximum flight time of 700 sec and is guided by highly sophisticated ring laser gyroscope guidance system.( We can recall that previously  developed missile Agni is RLG guided).

Unlike ballistic missile which follows sub orbital ballistic file path, RLG  uses laser light interference with in optical ring, adaptation of  which makes shaurya capable of flying at low altitudes.

Feeling empowered

Sophisticated  home developed missile and the pace it which they are being tested and tested successfully has left India, Indian in India and world wide Proud, safe and empowered.

I want to conclude with personal appreciation towards this achievement of DRDO . Another factor I want to bring up here is that, the nominal naming of missiles and the usage of authentic words from sanskrit in doing so.

[I have refered, bharat rkshak, drdo official site, Wiki and few news paper to attain technical knowledge of the missile].

aesthetic and empty

I have this eccentric tendency of living every occasion and  even every day life activities like, morning walks, evening walks,  going to a grocery store with a friend, having coffee with friend when she drops in on the way back from grocery,  when we happen to bump on to one another in parking lot,   like its never gonna come again. I do anything possible  to make any occasion or any moment complete and perfect as though I am not gonna live for tomorrow. i did that a lot especially while i was about to leave new England area for ever, which was my first home after an important mile stone in my life. Where each and every minute element is picked by all by myself from our home being a football ground literally. I still even remember how much I loved having coffee at around 6.30 in the evening sitting on my living room couch from where I could see  reddish sky due to possible sunset and people walking around in the parking lot.

Today I suddenly realized something that I already new very firmly,  as to how short lived every happiness is, every moment is, many a times what we do, we would be doing it for the last time in our lives. So I would say, don’t take even a moment for granted, live every moment, appreciate it and feel it to the fullest extent. When I heard of two of our family friend’s sudden demise,  I couldn’t believe it. I short lives everything is, we are not an exception for that.

I got my biggest blow when I heard of one of my close friend’s death about six to seven years back. I was out of town, living in Bombay, when my father called me and told, your friend ‘N’ is no more.  I felt kind of suffocated, but I did not cry, because I had kind of a hope that this news would turn to be false. I always thought when I return, I will call her, she will say, hey u know, everybody made a wrong news of my death. It was too bad to believe, how in the world would 22 years old girl can die so suddenly.  But I happened to be wrong, she never returned. Last time, I remember I saw her was, when she had come to my place when she visited home, for her vacation. That day, she said something unpleasant to me, so I didn’t enjoy those moments to the extent i otherwise would have did.  But she is remembered always.

Not that I had never seen any dear ones go away. I had lost one of my friend about 15 years back from now. However I did not take death so seriously back then I guess, I still thought she is somewhere around, like in movies:-).

I bore  unbearable loss when I lost my grandpa about three and a half years ago. Whom I admired, I got irritated with, I got mad with, I got  silly with and I loved and …. Conventional notion about old age is that, old age could be cruel notion would change its way, if it witnessed my grandpa. His limitation considering his age were limited. His early morning visits to temples, news paper reading, elaborated pooja  session followed by second visit to he temples and his morning breakfast while he watches TV, while my grand mom cooks and doing house hold work, I visited  to feel this unbelievably heavenly  ambiance. My heart craves for those mornings and for those…….

Those early afternoon visits to dad’s friend’s place, those gust full play sessions, aunt  getting dosa batter to store in our refrigerator,  those…….  nothing is gonna come back. Neither does the year passed by, and year previous to that.

The realization of short life of happiness made me feel  aesthetic as well as  empty for the world  is so impermanent and so are we!

India in imperilment .

Mumbai attack – which  could  amass  global attention to wards it ans so towards those who have been doing such an act for decades, also amasses attention towards the root causes of imperilment of the nation.

I was working on a different article from mid November, about the pride of our nation, the unmanned moon mission of India. However I couldn’t complete it as me expressing  pride can wait  while  pain of losing the integrity of the country, of losing the safety of the country, of losing the lives of people of the country that we were born and  brought up in  and we love cannot wait.

One hundred and seventy one  was a death toll,  More than three hundred people injured. Amongst these there were kids, women, men, old people. Kids got  orphaned, old parents got support less.  Whats so disappointing is, terrorists walked in so easily through sea and carried out  their entire mission with almost spectacular success of spreading mayhem , of blood shed and of damaging integrity of Indian people.  Need less to say, for such endeavors to be sustained domestic traitors are to be involved. I haven’t been able to figure our as to why that  isn’t it being established.   Indian public was addressed and told that the culprits will be punished.  Well its a no brainier  to decide as to who might have done it and  who have been supporting them with training,  munition and of course safe harbor with in the some border.  Pathetically   uneducated and uncivilized  crowd  who are bored with their own lame lives are up to doing this task in the name of god over and over and over again. Which is kind a proved right upon the confession of captured terrorist. One question remains, is there any one who can be accountable for all this.  Leave alone of insurgent attacks, is there any one accountable for what happened with rescue team, that was sent out to the situation spots?

India suffered several terrorist attacks in last decade and Mumbai is not an exception for that. This one on 26/11  drawn more attention for it happened on one of the  land marks of financial hub of India. More of foreign tourists from west and rich class people were targeted along with public places like railway station, hospital and  restaurants. Lets not forget the incident of plane hijack in beginning of this new millennium. Of course not to forget at all for the state in which Kashmir is in right now. I am more than positive in stating that all these incidents are intertwined by single motive by single but diversified (by name ) source.

However like every other country, we are susceptible to terrorist attacks too especially when we have traitors with in land. That’s the reason why we are ready with police forces and counter terrorism squads like NSG which was founded in 1985.

We are emerging super power?

How much of bureaucratic procedures were to be followed by the  commodes  before the y could leave the base  which let terrorists to settle down is not much of a news to any one now. However  it could be over looked with  by giving them a benefit of doubt that neither the officials not the authorities had an idea of gravity of the situation.  However no benefit of doubt or any kind of leniency could be granted towards those who made police forces combat against richly armed terrorists with world war II like .303 lee and sten guns.   What about the poor munition and hence the display of incapability of these and so incapability of India to face today’s terrorism.  These rescuers  volunteer to save citizen.s life, our life when our lives are in danger and what are they equipped with?  sub standard Bullet proof jackets which let bullets to pierce through them. More over these substandard supposedly bullet proof jackets were  said to have been distributed to police officers with knowledge of them being of poor quality. And of course as mentioned earlier world war II  munitions to fight against heavy machine guns including A K -47s.

Ten terrorists and eleven location and 60 hours of engagement has somehow made this emerging power look like ill equipped to fight contemporary terrorism. Elite bureaucratic procedures that were followed to get rescue team on board which led to delay and let attackers settle down has questioned Indian ability to fight modern terrorism.

Truth is India is not ill equipped to fight modern terrorism, though our army and police are still stuck in the system based on British Royal (as reported by news paper in UK) they could fight. How empowered could we be if we are to be provided with modern munitions. India also has so much budget and so much resources.

Point today is :

India was under terror attack, is still under threat like the world is in.India has  more threats as she  share border with these radicals. But are doing  enough to protect ourselves is the vital questions. After the vital clues that were provided about  terror insurgency through sea and possible terror attacks even before attacks  been over looked because of  some  carelessness( or whatever ) and poor equipment and inability to display and act with rapidity to shake opponent’s establishment, I feel India sure is under threat, not only by these attackers but also  by those who we have entrusted  safety of our nation upon.

I feel extremely sad not only for those who were targeted in the terror attacks at various locations, rather   for those who lost their lives while saving  civilian’s lives,  for those through whose bullet proof jacket could bullet pierce through, for those who were fighting with old fashioned incapable guns ( which  more than a decade agao I probably used for hitting targets in NCC) against heavy munitions and grenades.

Ascendancy of Terror

Last week, When I heard about the blast in  Assam India, I said Ohh and that’s it, then I turned unusually  silent and  waited for anger to hit me, but nothing like that happened. I really feel bad for the kind of reaction I produced after hearing such a tragic news, but I really wasn’t surprised neither was I shocked. And yeah it did not sound much like a news to me. I have heard or read this kind of news about India at least two two dozen times in last two years, apart from those  minor blasts that take every third day in some remote corner of India killing one or two at least along with them.

I tried to recall these terror  events of recent times,  Here are they,

This year alone, nine major blasts occurred and honestly I didn’t have their records and neither did I remember them when i searched through various news papers.

Jaipur blasts– On May 13, 2008 Serial blasts at Pink city claims to have killed at least 70.
Ahmadabad blasts- -on July 16 2008, 57 dead in serial blasts in Ahmadabad.
Bangalore blasts- -on July 25, 2008, 4 people die in Bangalore.
New Delhi blasts –on September 13, 2008,  Blasts at New Delhi killed 26.
Delhi blasts– on  September 27, 2008,terror strikes Delhi again in which 3 people were killed.
Gujarat blasts– on September 29, 2008  One killed in this blast.
Malegaon blasts(Nasik)on- September 29, 2008 Five persons were  killed. (Bomb was placed on unattended motor bike)
Imphal blasts –on October 21, 2008, : 17 killed in blast near Manipur police commando complex.
Assam blasts –on -October 30, 2008, Assam blasts: Eleven blasts killed over 40 people.

Apart from this, from what I could recall, last year that is in 2007, There was huge blast on Samhjhauta express,  and there were twin blasts in Hyderabad and there was a blast in Ajmer city too.

I couldn’t sum up the blasts that occurred previous year That is in 2006. As though there is no value for people got killed and everyone around, the people who could really can act on this, are pretending as though it can never happen to them.

Life goes on, people move on, as though it was a minor accident or may be even worse, as though nothing has happened.

Hmm I know every place  has got bad fruit, I see basket full here. I mean to say, there no doubt that these activities are  being triggered by radicals across the border, however it wouldn’t have been possible  had it been with out out the support of domestic terrorists.

Love,marriage, Love marriage….Changing definitions with changing times!

Last time I wrote this article I got really confused and bored and I wrapped it up abruptly and with nonsensical conclusion, I think. I am sure many who read this article also felt that way. So here I go again, It started some what like this.

Some one once asked me, which one do you prefer? Love marriage or an arranged marriage?
I found it really funny? its like asking which one do you prefer? getting murdered or suicide? :). Right?

Let me make a brief contour of  Love, Marriage, Love marriage , changing definitions of these with changing times in changing Indian community.

Well, starting with, what is this marriage?

• First dictionary said,Marriage is state in which a man and woman are formally united for the purpose of living together.
• Second one said, holy union of man and woman.

And then passing on to what love is?  All though scientific, social and cultural  definitions of love differ,  abstract concept of  love could usually be referred to as a strong, ineffable feeling towards another individual.   Love is all about a range of human  emotions  and experiences related to the senses  of affection and emotions related to them. All though  love could be related to, mercy, compassion, concern, care and infinitely more feelings could be associated with this word, I would  stick on to one definition concerned to this blog article.

I  always believed that   to make marriage and love synonymous, to make them sourish and nourish with  the mutually common  motives, and  to make them comply with and comprise of  similar human emotions,  marriage has to be based on love. Where two individuals share common ideas about the life and things that matter for the future life of their own.  But few believe, its a notion, or may be a superstition or myth or may be a hallucination. Developing new opinions  of new generation or may be  self proclaimed  practical  smart people also  state that, marriage and love have nothing in common, they say they could be as far apart as the apposite poles.  They add, no doubt  some marriages have been the result of love, however  they did not end with love,  which explains  non existence of love,  They say  there is nothing called love. I who still believed that Love does exist  however thought love could  assert itself only in marriage while ago  and could hardly  figure out as to why people ever got separated after all ? Did they fall out of love?  For that they say  then, not that people who stayed together were still in love,   much rather it is  because those people couldn’t outgrow a conventional social set ups. People often said I read too many romantic novels and watch too many romantic movies.

But then my query is, what is the purpose of marriage? why do couple choose to live together?

My Impression was, there should be a purpose to get married to a particular person. Like you like being with  that person, share common passions and ideology and your sense of humor compatible with another. Then  go ahead and bind themselves in a marriage. Otherwise no offense, but in fact arranged marriage is a compromise from day one. Because you choose to get  married to some  random one, because you yourself   never found one with whom your wavelength gets compatible. Then they say compatibility could be found  out by talking to one another with in a bunch of people you allow to meet. I thought, ( for people who work with SQL) it would sound some what like, select groom from table_name  where qualities IN(profession, passion, ideology…. etc; Well Not IN could also be used.

Jokes apart, but I have heard  they say,  love is nothing but a feeling of  attraction and  once it gets  over, feeling of love will be over too. If its only about finding compatibility, it could be one among the  entries of matrimony sites or some family friends or friends of theirs and so on…..   The biggest justification being, from ancient times, there have been by and large only arranged marriages in India and the couples got married very early in  their age and they stayed married longer than any couples on  any other part of the world. In fact world  wide survey conducted by a leading news channel  did reveal this fact to be accurate.

As a whole they finally  state,   vastly growing economic independence  of woman is leading us towards growing divorce. It has given rise very low sense of mutual sacrifices and tolerance.  I have read in many news papers and magazines where it was implied too while explaining  growing  divorce rate. Its also been found that, most of the divorces are initiated by women. Then I couldn’t help but think that in that case, marriage was getting saved only because woman was dependent economically and was putting up with all sorts of seasons and was being tolerant. I don’t want to turn this discussion into feminist arguments. I leave the conclusion open. However I  cannot restrain myself from saying in that case marriage smells somewhat like a financial  agreement and a settlement to inevitable, that one had  to go through for one party and   for  the satisfaction of parental family and a social opinion for another. It sounded more of a family mergers rather than heart mergers.

That doesn’t mean I am in favor of initiating divorces for reasons like, husband forced me to eat while I was not hungry. I certainly do not support woman’s initiation towards  being intolerant and arrogant. However I do suggest,  its time men and women both put in effort to save their relationship and grow mutual respect and be tolerant about  each others mistakes.

Definition and  needs of marriage are subjected to change from time to time, though its core principle remained same from antiquity, The mutual respect and trust.

One more thing that amuses me is, when children are said to be pillars of marriage. Getting married though you don’t love isn’t  good enough then you decide to fall in love. Have kids further pushing yourself to love each other. Its like implanting Compulsion disorder into adults.

I read somewhere, it said, people in love agree to get get married thats love marriage , and people who get married, agree to fall in love thats arranged marriage. If only this beautiful saying tirns true for everyone. I wish and  hope it does.

The Way of life.

Isn’t being good, kind, polite, caring, soft, honest….the way of life? Many, in fact most believe its quite opposite. They think, kindness and goodness are not the way of life. On the contrary should not be the way of  life they are convinced.

Good gestures and kindness displayed is often being miss interpreted as an action carried out with the hidden motive for the personal benefit. I was really surprised rather stunned or shocked to sense that the unblemished deed performed  in a state of mind that breaths nothing but  unselfish air gets defamed in no time, for no reason, other than the desire to reject the kind of belief and trust that needs to be exercised to have little faith in people. At this time, I can recall me telling some one quite often, ” We need to trust people more, I am sure we will be sure of  having  our trust justified”.

I am not an  old person, I very much belong to the current modern generation and I will be named old fashioned if I spoke dis approvingly about life that has bludgeoned into by doubt and mistrust.  I feel disappointed to acknowledge about inadequate veneration for truth, goodness, honesty and kindness.

However I came across myself personally over instances where me being, soft and honest and of course timid made me suffer mentally so much, that I started thinking in this direction and  upon showing little concern over this topic, many stories of people around me started unfurling. That is when I knew many of us, rather all of us are sailing on the same boat. That’s when I started to think in the direction, probably for many of those, who initially tried being honest, soft, good and caring, the corrupt society must have not let them live that way and they must have learnt it hard way.  But how about those, who cannot change themselves, who doesn’t want to change them selves and doesn’t want to get corrupted along? and still want to be safe and happy, and don’t want to hurt themselves.

 While I was showing this concern to one of my best friend, she told me a story.

A story of a Python. Once upon a time.There lived a Python, in the woods and in spite of being poisonous python biologically, he was very good natured and kind; and never wanted to hurt any one. Initially looking at the python, people were scared and gradually they realized that, the python is really a calm creature and doesn’t harm anyone. Upon knowing it, people, women, children, old and young every one started nagging the python,  eventually people also started throwing little pebbles and stones and sticks towards the python to hurt him. Some did it to harm the python physically, some did it as a prank and some did it to check upon what they have been told, that the python doesn’t hurt anyone, even after hurting him. For the reason or the other, they kept on troubling him. Poor python, was really hurt, physically and mentally and still   did not want to hut anyone and  started to live in his snake hill. Angry and hurt, he stopped coming out thats when he came to know that Gautama Buddha is in town. He soon decides to take refuge in him and ask him for the possible solution.

He went to see Budha and offered his venrations to him and requested for his help. Budha said, you dont have to harm people, but when they are causing  you so much agony  its your duty and very important to protect yourself.  Python was confused and said, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Budha said, you dont have to hurt, kill or bite anyone. All you need to do is Hiss and scare them when they come near you to scare them and they will stop bothering you. Soon after that, Python, did hiss at people who tried to harm then and gradually people started to get scared of python and stopped pestering him.

Moral of the story is, its not sufficient to be nice to others, its also important to be nice to ourselves and protect ourselves.

This story reminds me of a saying, which My grand father and my brother had told  me enjoying with each other, ” He who does not get angry is Wise, He who cannot get angry is fool”.

 Hmm isn’ t it really a wise saying?

Divided we Fail.

United we stand and divided we fall, is probably one of the first few proverbs from panchatantra moral stories that we all have heard in our childhood times. Well few days back my friend wrote an article Regionalism- How costly is it to nation? She also said she is writing about it very reluctantly. I am even more hesitant while writing this one, but every time I watch Hindi news I am compelled to pen few lines about this as there is one or the other news regarding the issue and separatist attitude which probably is dragging our nation towards separation.

Backgorund

Well let me make it clear, I neither belong to Maharashtra nor to Bihar. And Yeah I don’t even belong to U.P. I am writing this blog article only in the interest of national and social integrity.

Well I wonder why some people dont believe in unity? I heard a leader in Maharashtra opposing celebration of some chat pooja, which is mostly observed by north Indians and more specifically by people in Bihar. Which is a latest story. I understand, this brushing of words have been happening between leaders of Maharashtra and Bihar and maharashtra and U.P, the topic being, leader in Maharashtra dont personally like other state people, especially people from Bihar and U.P. going into Mumbai.

That is not it, I have heard from very close set of friend circle, that they being very well educated, were trying to drive a riots against offering employment for people around the nation in Karnataka. The reason being for this is, they claim, when people in Karnataka are deprived of employment opportunities people from other states cannot be offered jobs in Karnataka it seems. I really feel sorry for this kind of naive regionalism and feel extremely disgusted to know people doesn’t have broader outlook.

I understand many cities and towns or probably to be more specific Mumabi, Bangalore or any metro or cosmopolitan city in India provide shelter to millions of people who belong to different, states, class, language, religion, cast,cults, sub casts etc. I wonder what might surge, if all of these people indulge themselves in the kind of activity which provoke and instigate people against other language, religion, and sects. We claim to be secular sovereign democratic republic, as explained in the constitution of India which assures security, equality and liberty. Security and liberty are however largely disputable, liberty and freedom given by the constitution is widely being misused to ruin, social harmony by separatist attitude and it isn’t very surprising that they get bitter and cling to weapons or religion and it definitely is a threat to national security.

Why does after all people migrate from one place to another leaving their hometown, family and friends? In search and desire of lively hood and better life for themselves and their children. Person migrating from Bihar or from U.P. to Mumbai or Bangalore wants a better income, better lifestyle and better education for himself and his children. Isn’t their desire justified? The fact is only cities like Mumbai or Bangalore or few more like that have a better job opportunities, it isn’t his fault. If you work towards they getting better employment opportunity in their home town, they wouldn’t probably bother leaving their folks behind? Why doesn’t anybody work towards that? doesn’t matter even if its for the sake of selfish motive of avoiding people into you town, it definitely serve in the interest of nation’s betterment.

Why?

Well Though I am not able to see and understand any clear reasoning behind it, it is somewhat like Mumbai is getting spoiled by these people and he feels extreamly protective about his home town. But I personally feel very strongly that this patriotism needs to be extended towards the borders of the nation instead of restraining them to the borders of our home towns. There is nothing bad, in fact it is matter of healthy development that people are being proud and protective about their origin, but instead of making use of it to produce tension in the society it could be made use of, to build harmonious and unified society and hence a nation and it could probably be displayed globally rather than using “Brahmastra over a sparrow“.

Point today is

History is evidence to the fact that relocating to different places in search and hope of lively hood isn’t a new thing to mankind. Secular Indian country is a huge example for the same. Probably a little tolerance towards immigrants from natives of all regions can really benefit the society greatly indeed.

These words from constitution of India I thought might be relevant and inspiring for the crisis being faced.

We having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a Sovereign
Socialist, Secular Democratic republic and to secure to all its citizens:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;

LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;

and to promote among them all

FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;

IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-sixth day of November, 1949, do HEREBY
ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION.